Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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