he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
