well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
