I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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