Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
