Heybabeimwearingurpanties
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
