Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
