smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
