They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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