you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
