I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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