I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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