The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
