Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
