At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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