You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
