if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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