I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
