you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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