Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
smell my finger.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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