he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize