if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
