what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
