I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
