I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
