If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
