she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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