With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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