I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
