lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize