I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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