I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize