you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
