that's an acceptable place to lick
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
