Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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