Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
