I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
