She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize