My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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