u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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