It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
