i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
