I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
