I smell stomach acid.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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