she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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