super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
