Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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