I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
