I'd wear matching sweaters with you
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
