At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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