C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
