i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
