Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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