And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
