i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
