Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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