so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
