I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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